Kids Love Jokes

If you’re anything like me, you are terrified of your computer. There it is, sitting by the window on your kitchen table. It’s lookin’ all innocent, sayin’, “Hey. Hey man. Come get some writing done.” And you tell yourself, “I’m going to face my fear of this talking computer, sit down, and write.” But then once you get there, your hands start shaking and your legs start jimmying. You open up every other possible application on your dock, go to web sites you’d never normally go to, check the weather for the next three years, and finally get sucked into a game of Web Boggle.

Why does this happen? Well, let me just let the non-writers who stop by in on a little secret: Writing is…SO. MUCH. WORK. All right, that’s overexaggerating a little bit. But usually, it’s not what you would call “fun.” In my limited experience, the only people I’ve met who “enjoy” writing are those drafting personal essays, because, well, they’re writing about themselves. (Can you even begin to grasp the irony of a blogger making such a statement?)

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No, don’t actually. I don’t own much.

It’s May 1, which means Script Frenzy has come to and end. It also means the last year of my college career is over. Guess which one I worried about more.

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So, in about three hours I’ll be taking my first stab at stand-up comedy. No, this has never really been a goal of mine, and no, I don’t think I’ll try it again. But it has been a ton of fun, and I’ve certainly learned exactly which jokes kids love the most (the funny ones! I know, I couldn’t believe it either).

This is my little setlist I’ll have up on the stool with me:

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…Yes, I am still alive and well. Yes, I am completely stressed out. Yes, I may have to start paying rent at the library. Yes, I’ve gone back at my promise of posting within a few days of my last one.

School is over, for the last time in my life, in about two weeks. Once I get my Shakespeare term paper out of the way, I’ll have a lot more time to enlighten you in the art of GOING COMPLETELY FUCKING CRAZY. This should be by Sunday or Monday.

Also, for those of you in the Boston/Cambridge area: I’ll be performing stand-up comedy at the Hong Kong (right outside Harvard Sq., on the way to Central) Wednesday 4/30. Come to think of it, I don’t think I ever mentioned anything about this here. In short: I’m taking a Stand-Up Writing class this semester, and my final is to perform in front of a live audience at a real club. Eek. If you can’t come, I’ll have less to be stage-frightened about. But also I’ll be putting the video online here.

Anyway, sorry for being a dead-beat blogger as of late. I’ll be back in full form soon enough. Or, I won’t be. You decide.

My last few posts have been a bit long. I’m sorry. This one will be…just as long. Because today we’re moving on to the treatment in this whole “Evolution of a Screenplay” thingy that I thought I’d be updating more often. Now, I’m not going to post the entire treatment because it’s four pages in Word and god knows how many that’d be here. I’m sticking to the Act I for now. This is the first draft. Later on, I’ll post the second draft so you can track the changes made.

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First off, holy god, thirty views Wednesday?! I honestly didn’t think I’d get more than the usual five or six. Whoever you are, thanks for stopping by. Apparently, you kids really do love jokes. So keep coming. I have…candy? (Note: I do not actually have candy for you.)

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